Naughty on purpose?

Ok, so here's how it goes in our house:

Mummy: "No", removes baby from that thing she is not supposed to play with (eg power cords, dog biscuits, clothes rack etc.)

Baby crawls back reaches out hand with big smile on her face

Mummy: "No", removes baby

Baby crawls back and grabs

Mummy: "No", removes baby

Baby crawls back and grabs, by this time she is laughing, thinks it's a great game.

Totally frustrating for Mummy. By the 5th repeat the voice is very gruff, bordering on yelling and Mummy is all flustered and over it. So is Baby being naughty on purpose?

Gorgeous, curious, cheeky little monkey

Some days my day looks like this over and over again in various different forms (change table antics are particularly 'fun'). Between that and the current clingy stage, or massive protesting about having a nap (and then not having one) I'm ready to take offers from the highest bidder. It's the price for having the most gorgeous, curious, cheeky, little monkey. I'm glad she's willful because it bodes well for her resilience in future... but OMG it's frustrating some days. The clash of wills :)

It finally occurred to me the other day that she is not actually trying to be naughty on purpose... she just doesn't understand what I'm trying to communication. Sure, I'm trying to be consistent with my voice and facial expressions and not rewarding her by smiling back when she smiles at me when she's doing something I don't want her doing ... but she just hasn't got it yet. She even smiles and laughs when our dog growls at her while she's pulling his hair ... doesn't understand that growling means upset, and upset means stops (Note, of course parental supervision of dog and baby is always present).

It doesn't make sense to me that a Baby would deliberately goad her primary source of food, warmth, comfort and entertainment to the brink of frustration. It doesn't make sense from a survival perspective. And if someone was trying to tell me something using language and body language that I did not yet understand I wouldn't "get it" either. I suppose I just wanted to believe I had this super amazing intelligent little offspring who could understand me and was trying in turn to communicate....One day, in her natural timing, when her language and understanding increases she'll get it.

So until she "gets it" I have the keep her safe at the same time as staying sane. The simple realisation that she doesn't understand has dropped my frustration levels to the point where I was thinking logically about the problem rather than emotionally. As a result we did some rearranging. She wants to be around me and have my attention occasionally and then go off and play with things in between. So we moved my desk and Ella's play space into the same area, fenced it so she can't wonder out of it and made absolutely everything in that space at an Baby-reachable height something that Mummy wouldn't need to say "No" about.

I'll keeping saying no and trying to be consistent, but I'm loving our new set up and my new attitude. I love that she loves to expore her world, and I love that after exploring for a while she wants to climb up for a cuddle.



Please note: I'm no expert, I'm simply sharing our Baby journey. Your child and your family is guaranteed to be different to ours. We always love hearing what works for your and your Baby, so we'd love you comment with any relevant stories from your journey. Hopefully by sharing we can get great ideas from each other :)

My latest obsession

Those of you that are liker of our facebook page will probably be able to guess at what my latest obession is....... Baby shoes... Love them! And it's catching, I've managed to get a few of you hooked too by stocking some very cute shoes lately.

So we've been road testing a few lately and here is the verdict.

Tea for Two Booties

The first shoes we bought for Ella were the Tea for Two Booties. They were just divine to look at and looked so warm and snuggly.

I thought with boots it would be easier to keep them on her for a longer period of time because of the ankle support. Unfortunately the opposite is true. Ella is a prolific crawler and loves pulling herself up on things.... so her feet are basically shoe and sock repellent. She points her toes hard when I try and put shoes on her so I wasn't able to get them on securely enough for them to stay on during a crawl-a-thon.

They come in newborn, 0-6months and 6-12months. They would be wonderful (and totally gorgeous) on a non-crawler, perfect for newborns and little ones. They are very warm with their lovely plush velour lining.

Sherpa lined boot

Narna (Ella's grandma) insisted we get the Sherpa lines booties for Ella. They are ankle boots with a velcro strap. She saw them and picked that they'd stay on well. Well ... Narna is always right.

They aren't very girly... which is great if you are a boy... which is why I didn't pick them for Ella straight away. But they are warm and toasty..... and they stay on really well. The denim and brown are good neutral colours so the girls can get away with them too.

Once again the come in newborn, 0-6, 6-12.

We were at the markets one Sunday and someone had a great deal on some very cute baby boots... so I bought 3 pairs... lol. I took them home and we started working our way through them. Very cute, but no sucess at getting them to stay on. The whole boot thing meant that I couldn't get her foot in them far enough to get them on well, and even if I did, they didn't last the crawl test - FAIL.

High Top Sneakers

OK, so I've given up on the boots... with one exception - High Top Sneakers - come on, You have to admit, they are super funky! With the softer fabric around the ankles, and the easy access of zipper down the side, while still being able to do the laces up to fit, these stay of quite well.

Ella has the Lime coloured ones and the Pink ones. They also have Navy (pictured), Denim, Brown and Light Pink. They come in sizes 0-6, 6-12, 12-18.

I'm a big fan, as is Ella:

So given the difficulties with some boots staying on a crawler we have picked up a couple more shoes for You and Baby. While they don't have the "ankle warmth" cozy feeling of boots, they are likely to stay on better, therefore keeping the socks on, therefore keeping feet warm.... my ultimate goal.

Ballerina Shoes

Ballerina Shoes

They come in Denim, Mocha and Pink. The jury is still out on which colour Ella is getting because I love them all so much

Sizes: 0-6, 6-12, 12-18.

The little elastic across the shoe gives me high hopes for them lasting the Ella test

Boys Velcro Shoes



Boys Velcro Shoes

They come in Navy, Blue and Brown.

Sizes: 0-6, 6-12, 12-18.

Elastic behind the heel and good firm double velcro strips - big chance of staying on!

But when all else fails to keep the shoes on, and therefore the socks, I resort to all day PJs :) lol. Footed sleeps suits with socks underneath = guaranteed warm toes.

Hazy times

It's been a while since my last blog... and that one was a short and quick one. Why? It's been a bit hazy in my head lately. The Sleep Deprivation caught up and took over.

A few weeks ago I posted on Facebook asking my mummy/daddy friends if they had 10 month olds that were sleeping about as well as a 2 month old. I thought the whole sleepless thing was supposed to end much earlier than this.... was I doing something wrong? To my relief I had messages and conversations with mummies of other 9-10 month olds who say they are having the same situation. Boy was I relieved. There wasn't something wrong, it's just how it is.

So through all the discussions with other mums, and some reading, we're putting it down to teething and random big developmental changes.... so I'm feeling better about my mummy skills, but that still doesn't give me a solution, or any sleep.

So I tried a few things:

• making sure she was eating as much solids through the day as possible
• setting more regular times for her day sleeps
• not feeding after midnight
• feeding ....

Still nothing..... aaahhhhhhhh

Finally I submitted to experience. I can read and research as much as possible, but I have very limited experience with this whole mummying thing. I needed to call in the pro... and give her license to give advice. NARNA HELP! I told my mum that I had run out of all my own solutions, I'm dead tired and I just need someone who I trust, who knows what they are doing and who I trust has Ella's wellbeing at heart... as well as mine... just to tell me what to do. If you know me, that was a pretty big step.

Result - new process. No feeds after bedtime until 4am. First night was great. A little crying here and there, but generally a good night. It's like she had heard our conversation and went with the program. Next few nights, much crying. But slowly less and less crying and now 10 days later we've had very little crying in the last few night. In fact I've heard her grizzle a couple of times but then settle herself back to sleep. YAY!!

So I'm feeling half human again.

Mum's advice was that Ella had had 9-10 months of being responded to, but developmentally it was now time to start enforcing some boundaries for both our sakes. Our gorgeous monkey has her mum, and her dad's, strong will and has been starting to exert it. Yay for strong willed little people... bodes well for her long term resilience... but she needs the security of some boundaries from her parents.

Now all I have to do is teach her that No means No :) But that's another very long Blog :)