While preggers I swore black and blue and up and down and back to front that I would not be that parent. This would not be me. I would remain an interesting person with an array of topics at the ready on which I could speak. I would not be parenting absorbed at all. Not one little bit. No way. Wasn’t going to happen.
But I was secretly terrified that it would happen. I mean, how the hell was I to know what was around the corner? It was my first child. So I nervously chewed my lip when I thought about it and hoped for the best.
And then my little monkey arrived and oh my, for quite a few months there it was
all. I. could. talk. about.
Seriously.
I still remember the moment that I realised I was this person. I was absolutely horrified but I seemed powerless to change it.
Friends without kids would come over to visit and I would rack my sleep deprived brain trying to think of something to say that wasn’t related to my wonderous new Baby. It seemed impossible. And even if I did manage to get onto something else, before too long it seemed like I was somehow turning the conversation back to my Baby and motherhood.
Mother’s group was my favourite place ever as there we were allowed to talk about our Babies. In fact, it was even encouraged. That’s the point right. I loved it even more as it made me feel like me. I was chatty and outgoing with so much to say, exactly how I’d been pre-Baby.
If You are feeling this way right now, let me give You some advice: don’t sweat it mummy.
You are probably still in the early months and let’s be honest here: right now your life IS your Baby. You are working round the clock on getting that cute little critter accustomed to the big wide world and that my friend is a full time job and then some. This stage does not last forever so your obsession with all things Baby won’t last forever either.
As time goes by your Baby will become that little bit more capable and regular in his activities so You will start to become interested in the greater world again. You might even consider a small trip out without your child at some point. You will be amazed at how much of a difference this can make. Basically the more You do that isn’t Baby focused, the more fodder You will have for the rest of your life.
Sure, obsessing about yourself doesn’t make You the world’s best mother but neither does obsessing about your Baby. There is room for both people in this world. Never forget, You were a person before You were a parent. Now You are a person who is a parent. You just need to find a way to make the two co-exist.
xo Rachael
Author Bio - Rachael is a sometimes blogging, always mummying, single mum of a 20 month old little boy. They live a happy seaside life in a small coastal northern NSW town in Australia. You can check out some of her other thoughts about the world at www.mummyflyingsolo.com
Haha, I remember when I one night went for dinner with my friends, without my baby, and I was the only Mum in that group, and they wondered why I was so quiet: I truly enjoyed listening to the others when they where telling about there jobs, dating and/or hobbies, but I so did not have anything to add to it :D But for me it was enriching also just to listen to something else than baby talk!
ReplyDeleteFor me, this was most evident at work. I went back to an all male environment in an office setting. Thank goodness the wife of one of my colleagues had just had a baby too so we could exchange pictures and stories of sleepless nights, but it is not the same as talking to a woman about it. And I was still nursing (and pumping) at the time. No one can really understand what it is like to try and work while pumping. As much as I tried to give 100% to a meeting or even a conversation, my body seemed to be focused solely on milk production. And while if felt great to have some non-baby hours to my day, I was literally running out of the office each day to get to my daughter. It was a complete switch from the type of employee I was before and I just couldn't help it. My message to new mums always is: Believe mothers when we say, that it does get better with time.
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